I keep listening for a voice I can feel my ears straining for a sound
There’s been a depth-less aura to my situation as of late It all feels so eternal and perpetuating, like I’m stuck in a song. There are these days where I know the chaos could arrive, where I’ll miss you, and where I’ll wish I was somewhere else entirely. And how I might imagine my life with this cycle: everything packed into semesters and vacations and routine. But that’s what I’m used to, right?
I’m scared, most days, of what kind of life I’d be living, if I did something to change it.
I guess that’s what my summers are like: without routine or order, and it’s always so unsettling. Is it not in my nature? Everyone always talks about living for the endlessness, the uncertainty; the restless and wave-like night owls. And I believe it, that this will lead to my joyous surrender.
I’m making a conscious effort to befriend new risks
It’s not like our time is endless Memories are around as long as there are people to remember them I remember. I remember everything, most days. Just close your eyes and remember me. Hallways, grassy fields, staircases, couches Because of these things.
I close my eyes and remember you.
I’m making a conscious effort to befriend new risks.
2Pac:And since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman and our game from a woman, I wonder why we take from our women. Why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women, time to heal our women, be real to our women. And if we don't we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies that make the babies. And since a man can't make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one.
Jay-Z:Silly rappers, because we got a couple Porsches, MTV stopped by to film our fortresses. We forget the unfortunate. Sure I ponied up a mill, but I didn't give my time. So in reality I didn't give a dime, or a damn. I just put my monies in the hands of the same people that left my people stranded. Nothin' but a bandit, left them folks abandoned. Damn, that money that we gave was just a band-aid, can't say we better off than we was before.
Kanye West:Is it genocide? 'Cause I can still hear his momma cry, know the family traumatized. Shots left holes in his face, 'bout piranha-size. The old pastor closed the cold casket, and said the church ain’t got enough room for all the tombs. It’s a war going on outside we ain’t safe from, I feel the pain in my city wherever I go. 314 soldiers died in Iraq, 509 died in Chicago.
Mos Def:When the average minimum wage is $5.15, you best believe you gotta find a new grind to get cream. The white unemployment rate, is nearly more than triple for black so frontliners got they gun in your back. Bubblin crack, jewel theft and robbery to combat poverty and end up in the global jail economy. Stiffer stipulations attached to each sentence. Budget cutbacks but increased police presence. And even if you get out of prison still livin join the other five million under state supervision. This is business, no faces just lines and statistics from your phone, your zip code, to S-S-I digits. The system break man child and women into figures. Two columns for who is, and who ain't niggaz. Numbers is hardly real and they never have feelings but you push too hard, even numbers got limits. Why did one straw break the camel's back? Here's the secret: the million other straws underneath it - it's all mathematics
Lupe Fiasco:I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit. Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets. How much money does it take to really make a full clip. 9/11 building 7 did they really pull it. And a bunch of other cover ups. Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts. If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut. The school was garbage in the first place, thats on the up and up. Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust. You get it then they move you so you never keeping up enough. If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the fucks”. Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such. And that aint Jersey Shore, homie thats the news. And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth. Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist. Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit. Thats why I aint vote for him, next one either. I’ma part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful. And I believe in the people.
I’ve been spending a considerable amount of my “blogging time” with my new notepad. It’s nothing special except that my mom gave it to me, saying I would find some use for it. It’s been years since I’ve kept a journal-type book; something like three or four years. The tangible pleasure of writing by hand is almost intoxicating. I don’t know if I plan to transport said writings from hand to web but know that I am writing and not just leaving these photos to suggest my thoughts. For the time being, I will be doing both.
As it is, I’m finding inspiration in places other than the internet. How mellifluous.